This past week we had the opportunity to work with the ministry, Dunamis. This organization focuses on rescuing underage girls from sex trafficking and sexual abuse. Their goal is to restore these girls into healthy, young women by teaching them life skills within a Christ centered environment. A big part of the ministry is the greenhouse where they grow 8,000 tomato plants! They sell these and this is how they fund different portions of the ministry. Dunamis is such a beautiful and passionate yet humble ministry. We were there for 5 days and made some awesome connections but that isn’t all that happened. The Lord worked something new in my heart. Something a bit unexpected.
Growing up, I was honestly a pretty self centered kid. I lived in my own world. Something I struggled to feel was empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It allows the capacity to take on another’s feelings and feel their hurt.
Since being here in Ecuador the Lord began to stir something new in my heart and actually allowed me to feel some empathy. Not much but, some. Arriving at Dunamis, I spent my first day in the greenhouse working with the tomatoes (speaking of, the Lord speaks beautifully through tomatoes, who knew? There will be a second blog soon about that.) But the next day, I got to spend with the girls who have been rescued! During that day something stirred in me. A new passion and love for the hearts of these sweet ladies. It absolutely shattered my heart to see the hurt in their eyes. To see the initials of the men who abused them tattooed on the arms of the girls. Knowing that most of these girls were sold from their families into brothels frustrates me beyond belief. It has been so heavy on my heart seeing how these girls actually walked and played and laughed like any innocent child would. What caused such heaviness was knowing that there are emotions and traumas buried deep within their hearts. These traumas are closed off and boxed up, undealt with. As they get older these things will come out and they will have to deal with this heavy hurt. Seeing such brokenness caused so much frustration and confusion in me. And a huge wave of empathy.
Over the next few days I was having such a hard time processing everything. I didn’t know how to deal with this hurt. I had prayed and asked that the Lord break my heart for what breaks His. And that is exactly what He did. Yes, it hurt. But I ask that he continue to break me but, that He also show me how to steward this hurt and this empathy well.
Through this ministry and these girls the Lord birthed in me a new passion and fire. It seems like it actually has always been there and I just didn’t know until I was able to see it playing out first hand. I can recall previous moments with similar experiences where I felt the same as I do now. I just couldn’t recognize the feeling or why I was experiencing it. Here in this moment though, the Lord is bringing it all together to connection. Coming to this conclusion, that it is good to feel this, took a bit. But, seeing that through this hurt the Lord is bearing new fruit, sparking new fire, and creating new passion is something beautiful.
Leaving Dunamis today and hugging each girl goodbye was probably one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. I just want to stay, sit and laugh with them, watch them flourish into women of the Lord, hear their stories, and see that Christ is doing huge things in them. It’s a hard thing to walk away from a passion but, that doesn’t mean I’m walking away for good. It doesn’t mean the Lord isn’t moving in huge ways at Dunamis. It doesn’t mean that the new heart the Lord has restored in me through these girls is gone.
It actually means that I can now pursue His ways even more. It means that I can step into new lives and ministries and pour into them as they pour into me. It means that there is always space for new restoration and declaration of life over death. In these girls, in me, in the people around me. Thank you Jesus for placing in me a new heart. One of empathy and passion and newness. One not of stone, but of flesh.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26
I am so proud of you and yes, I feel it, you have a new heart.
You were shinning today!
Love this so much. It takes a lot for me to experience any empathy so I understand what you’re saying very well.
God is so good!!! This is an answer to one of my hugest prayers. I realized years back that you had a struggle with empathy and I’ve labored in prayer over you since then. Julie, God is so good and His plans to use you are beautiful!! Thank you for sharing so intimately with us!! You are a beautiful servant of God!!!!
I’m Morgan’s mom:) I’m praying for all you ladies every day. I love your updates and this one was gold. Love the picture of that baby nestled into your neck, just touches me to know how redemptive it is. Thanks for your vulnerability and I’m really joyful for what God is doing in and through you.
Fabi, I hope I get to meet you someday! Thanks for being the amazing, loving dad-on-site for our girls:)