I started this blog about a month or two after coming home from Nepal. I’ve written a few posts here and there but one post that was requested a lot was to write about expectations I had for the trip and real impact the trip had on my life. I’ve finally decided to actually sit down and get it done after putting it off for so long but I think that may be for the best as I have had plenty of time to get my thoughts together at this point. Now onto the blog…
Going into this trip I told myself I didn’t want to have any expectations. But as you’ve probably guessed that didn’t work out too well. Heading into the entire adventure my brain and heart was loaded with expectations. I had those basic expectations that literally anyone would have going into a mission trip. I expected and knew I would see some pretty crazy things. I expected to be really homesick after at least a week or two. Those were really my only two BIG expectations. I had others but I can’t remember them if i’m being honest. What really happened on this trip didn’t only change those expectations but it completely exceeded them. It showed me that you really have no idea what is going to happen or what it is like until you are there. So, obviously I did see CRAZY things and that was completely exceeded but, so many things happened that I did not expect at all. They were things that didn’t even pass through my head as I was preparing.
One of the biggest things that completely changed my views and expectations was just the connections that were made. As I said before, I expected to miss home and my friends and family SO MUCH but, I didn’t miss them as much as I thought I would. Not that I did not miss them or love them and think about them at all, but I truly was so completely in love with the country I was in that I barely had time to think about home. It was so insane to me how much of a deep connection I was able to make with the families and kids there. To be able to become such good friends with these kids and to love them so much when you speak completely different languages and live completely different lives is something truly baffling. It’s something that only our God can bring. I did not realize how close you could grow with that many people after just a few weeks. It was such a connection and love that I could not bear to leave. It truly broke me to get into that taxi and drive away from that four story house in Lalitpur that we called home. I’m not exaggerating when I say ideas genuinely ran through my head trying to figure out a way to not leave. That drive to the airport with tears streaming down my face(dang also as I’m writing this) was one of the worst drives of my life. Knowing that I would have to get on that plane and willingly fly back home just to go back to a janky, old high school and job was one of the worst feelings in the world. I thought “okay Julie, this is hard but once you get home it’ll pass and you’ll be happy to be home.” But let me just say it wasn’t that easy. Culture shock hit me like a bus. I had a youth camp to go to that very next week and don’t get me wrong it was a fun time with all of my friends and parts of that week were amazing! But, that was probably one of my hardest weeks. On the inside I was really struggling. I did not want to be there, I was longing to be back in Kathmandu. I was on edge the entire week, I was quiet(not normal for me), I was snapping at my friends(i’m sorry guys), and I just wasn’t my normal self. After that week, yes I have made progress but it has been about three months and if i’m being honest, it’s still pretty bad. I go through waves of really enjoying being home and waves of really, really missing Nepal. At the beginning of this adventure I really did not expect that I could miss somewhere so uncomfortable, so much. It forced me into so many positions that I would normally back away from and it sure led me to deal with uncomfortable living circumstances but it was still home, felt like normal life, and I loved it. Leaving a place so close to my heart was truly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but I know it is in God’s plan and He will lead me where I am supposed to be. As long as I am in His will, I am where I am supposed to be.
Another huge surprise that really exceeded my expectations was how vulnerable my team was with each other. I did not realize how close you could become with complete strangers after just three weeks. But I guess I didn’t take into account that when you are living with these people and constantly surrounded by them for close to a month that is what happens. It just was so genuinely astounding the intentional vulnerability we had with each other. To be able to be that open, honest, and ready to discuss anything and everything is truly humbling. When a 20 minute team time turns into a 5 hour team time it truly shows you how true and ready everyones hearts were for this mission. Everyone on that team really was there for the Lord and to bring His name to everyone they could. To come out of this trip with friends that I talk to and FaceTime on a daily basis is one of the best gifts God could’ve ever given me. The teammates you have on a trip like this really impact it in the biggest way and when I say that I could not have picked a better team, I really do mean it.
That trip has impacted my life forever not just because it was a good trip but because on this trip I learned so many things within myself and God revealed so many things that would effect my future and the rest of my life. Those three short weeks out of my last summer break of high school impacted my view of life in the deepest way. They taught me to grow in gratitude, completely altered my personality(whether people notice it outwardly or not, it was mainly a personal and quiet change), totally switched my after graduation plans for life around, and left me a completely new person. One of the biggest parts of this trip that impacted me was our Shabbat Shalom every week. It was a small group church gathering with all of the people in the ministry who were living in Nepal. We just had an evening of fellowship, worship, and praise. To sit on the floor in a circle singing His melodies, even as the lights go out and singing even louder. To look across the room and see my new, but near and dear to my heart, Nepalese family worshipping Him with all that they have gives me such a heart wrenching happiness. It showed me that times like this are happening world wide and that we are all one whole in God no matter where we are. His glory is pouring over this broken yet beautiful world constantly. You just have to have open eyes to see it and I want everyone to be able to experience that beauty.
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.” Ephesians 1:18
