Before you read this blog post I just want to make sure you know that I wrote this back in May for a school assignment. I haven’t really done anything with it except turn it into my teacher and I decided that I would post it since some of y’all have never heard this story. So keep that in mind as you are reading since the dates I put in here line up with about 4 months ago.
Ever since I was a child, I have grown up in a Christian home. I was surrounded by Christian friends and grew up in a religious household, therefore, I always considered myself to be a Christ follower. I considered myself to be a good kid and saw myself as a “good Christian.” I considered it this way up until I was around twelve or thirteen years old. That’s when I began to question my faith. I would go to church with my parents, youth group with my friends, and go to some kind of teen Christian camp here and there, but I would still always fade off and not have a true, everlasting relationship with Christ. It was never real, up until about eight months ago.
Around the start of September, I started going to LifeSong Church’s youth group, The Reach. After a few weeks of this, I then began to attend the Sunday service as well. I had always gone to church my whole life, but this time was different. I chose to go to this specific church and for the first time I attended without my parents. Instead of going just because my family was going, I was going because I wanted to. I was going because I loved this church and I saw my need for it and growth in it. I chose to go here because I know that is where I belonged. Over the next few months I went and listened to the sermons and music as well as talked with my new friends about struggles we were facing and things we were learning in God’s word. In January, my youth group went on a weekend retreat to a conference called ChiliPepper, which was three days and nights filled with time to spend together. I was able to grow so close to my friends, my leaders, and most of all, Jesus. It was a weekend of learning about Him and becoming stronger and more faithful to Him. I began to flourish in a way I had never seen myself do before. I was opening up and becoming more thirsty for His Word. I wanted to continue to grow in my relationship with Christ everyday and worship Him in everything I did. Everyone had always told me, when you become close to Christ in a way where you are in love with Him and want to use your whole life for Him, it is the most unexplainable feeling. It is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. Everyone would always talk about this feeling and honestly I did not understand it, but let me say that as soon as I started to grow in Him, I completely understood the feeling and it is true. It is the most unexplainable experience I have ever been blessed to have, but I feel it all of the time. Obviously I have my ups and my downs and those are the hardest parts, but through it all I remain the same as I am growing in Christ. About a month ago I was in a really good place with God, but around the start of April my relationship with him felt like it was lacking in substance. For about two weeks I was in an extremely dry season. I was forgetting to pray everyday; I wasn’t doing my daily quiet time with Him, and I wasn’t reading or studying His word. But after a couple weeks of this I went to Him and asked for His help and asked for light in my life to put me back on the straight path and He did. So yes, there are silent, empty stages, but there are also lush seasons full of life. So over the past months I have learned not to give up when I find myself in a hard time where I don’t feel connected with God. I have grown to realize that I need to take time to pray about it and to work towards fixing it so that I am alive in Him again.
One of the greatest journeys I have been on during this entire time was my path towards my mission trip. Since November, I have had plans to go on a missions trip to Nepal to spread the word of God. I have had to fundraise all my money for this and it has been extremely difficult and trying. However, it has built my faith and trust like never before and forced me to trust in Him as it is extremely challenging to raise almost $5,000. As I tell this story, I am still enduring it. I am still raising money, and I am still going through struggles like every other human in this world. I am still learning new things about Jesus, and I am still going through my ups and my downs, I am also still growing in Him as I learn something new from every struggle. But that is okay because God is good, and He is worth it because of everything He has done for us. He is good because as I am growing in Him everyday; He helps me to grow in myself.
